I prefer her to be sighted, but that is between us


In a previous post, I shared some thoughts about the challenges that a blind woman sometimes encounters when it comes to love and marriage. I got a comment from a blind girl friend that had unsuccessful experience and liked to share her thoughts. I decided to let her do that through this post as blind women face double discrimination not only from sighted men, but from blind men as well. Let us see what she would like to say:

“If blind males are somewhat established and successful in life, they think that getting married to a blind woman is a downgrading for them. They want to look normal, act normal, viewed as normal. That is why some of them think that walking down a street with a blind wife would not embarrassing, asking for help down a street every now and then would not be normal. Some blind men want to maintain their manhood which may not be full except by marrying a sighted woman.

For only the sake of marrying a sighted woman, they sacrifice sometimes other qualities; no matter if she is not educated, it makes no difference that she’s from a different cultural and social background; it is not very important to have common things or understanding between them; the most important thing is to be sighted!

The problem gets worse when there is a love story between a blind man and a blind woman, when he leaves her to run after a sighted girl, as if all the feelings and love between them do not really count. Some of them would put the blame on their families, saying that they are the ones who do not accept for their blind son to marry a blind woman; I tell them where your role as a man is.

Aren’t you supposed to bear the responsibility of completing the path that you two started together? I tell them how come you are a man and you let someone else control your life? I tell them where is the love that you are speaking about, doesn’t love means commitment?”

My friend’s words end at this point. I can get the bitter feelings that you are experiencing, I can feel the pain you are suffering from dear, I wish if I can do anything to calm you down. I don’t have so much to add here but one of the ridiculous things when a family of a blind guy doesn’t accept a blind woman. It doesn’t make sense to me. It is even weirder to me when a family has a blind son and a blind daughter, and they may accept a blind man for their blind daughter but they don’t accept the opposite.

Yeah, I know that some blind men want their wives to be their servant, house keeper, driver, and their personal assistant. What a deal when you get all in one! You can’t get everything dear man, please set your priorities before making any decisions.

Aren’t we eve’s daughters too?

I was asked this question by one of the most decent, sensitive, well-educated blind female friends I ever knew. She asked me this question wondering why it is so difficult issue for a blind girl to be loved or to get married. Why is she neglected by everybody whether sighted or even blind men? I don’t have a specific answer to you my dear although I can understand your point very well. Unfortunately this is the truth that blind women are less fortunate when it comes to love and marriage whether this partner is either sighted or even blind. I think blind guys also suffer from this problem, but the ratio is pretty low compared to the blind men and the sighted women. Sighted women are more willing to open towards blind men than sighted men towards blind women. Of course this doesn’t mean that blind women don’t have chances at all but it turned out to be challenging and it needs a lot of sacrifice from her side. It becomes more difficult when this woman is well-educated and beautiful, as if she wants to say, what do I lack so that I don’t have a good opportunity with an equivalent partner?

A blind woman has a choice to make either to stay as she is, or she has to do some kind of sacrifice. For example, she may accept somebody who is not educated, even if she is highly educated. If she has money, most probably she is responsible to pay for the expenses associated with establishing the new house. What a painful feeling when you have to choose to be either nobody, or to pay to be somebody.

For me, who cannot appreciate me as I am, he simply doesn’t deserve me. My dear blind female friend, with all dignity, raise your head to the sky, you have love, caring, understanding, and faithfulness for whoever can only appreciate them. Honestly speaking, the guy also has the right to be with you or with another sighted woman; you can’t force anybody to love you.

Do you know what really drives me crazy when it comes to discussing this issue with sighted people? It is the hypocrisy and lying that they try to use in order to get rid of the discussion as soon as they can. So you may hear something like you are really great, you are more beautiful than many sighted women, you deserve the best person in the world, If you ask them if this mean that they can accept marrying a blind woman or not, you hear things like hmmm, I don’t know, I am not sure, I don’t think this can suit me. This applies on blind men too. We sometimes try to appear more civilized and understanding as long as the issue is very far from our personal interest. I never forget the story of my blind friend when she used to have a sighted girl friend. They were very close, they were like sisters. One day, the sighted friend’s brother saw my blind friend. He liked her so much and decided to marry her. As long as he raised the issue to his family including his sighted sister, the whole family started to put their curse on the poor girl. The closest friend now has become the fiercest enemy. The girl had to deal with a flow of insults to the extent that one of her relatives picked the phone and said to them that their son is the one who was running after her and they should deal with him far from the poor girl. The guy insisted on his choice and got married to the girl. Believe me that until now and after more than 3 or 4 years, and even after being a successful mother for two kids, his family still wishes if she doesn’t exist on earth. What if you get married to a sighted woman only just for being sighted and you discover later that she is not suitable. What if you get married to a very good person and she lost her sight after marriage, will you leave her? I don’t have an answer for your question my dear friend, but I suppose that people should be measured based on their qualities, not based on something that they can’t choose or have control on.

Blind women and Menstruation: why and how?

Continuing with the female conversation, and after we talked about applying makeup as a blind woman, I found it a good introduction to speak about that thing that every female has to experience at a certain time in her life on a monthly basis – her monthly period. . I am sorry if the topic seems to be disgusting for some of you; when I thought about start blogging, I decided to discuss anything and everything I find it related to the blind life.


One day, a blind friend went to a doctor for checkup, she was worried because she reached 16 and she didn’t get her period at all. Our great doctor was wondering why she tought about such thing. Why does she need to get her period? He made it as if why you are worried about being a woman. What a dare! Do you ever think that you can experience all the stages of womanhood, to get your period, to have a relation, to get married, or to be a mother?

Horrible, huh? What a terrible feeling when you are deprived of your right to be even a female or a woman! Unfortunately, this is the bitter inescapable reality we have to face on daily basis when we have to deal with somebody who is supposedly speaking well-educated, but he / she has such shocking attitudes against blind people, particularly, women.

O my God! Are those creatures like us? Do they go through the same things we experience in our lives? So how do they deal with such issues, poor thing they can’t see! Definitely we should not ask them, it may be embarrassing for them to answer our questions.

You know what? The problem is that some sighted people can’t think beyond the fact that they can use their eyes. They can’t imagine their lives without it. Many women wonder how a blind woman knows that she is getting her period. I actually googled the issue to see who talked about it before but I barely found something about this issue although believe me it is a very common question so I thought perhaps I would take this brave movement to discuss such sensitive issue.

My answer to those people will be in a form of questions. Don’t you ever feel fatigue? Or pain when you are getting your period? Don’t you feel anything coming out of your body at all? Don’t you ever feel more emotional when it is approaching? Can’t you know at least its approximate date during the month?

Answering those questions is enough to understand how blind women know when she is getting her period. So, how can she know if there is a stain in her clothes?

Let us be honest and say that it may happen with any woman, however, of course since we agreed before that sighted people are always right, if it happens for a blind woman, it will be interpreted that because she is a blind woman, she is poor thing, she can’t take care of herself. On the other hand, if this occurs to a sighted woman, yeah it is normal, don’t worry about it, it sometimes happens. I never hated anything in my life more than this way of judging and evaluating any situation in which a blind person is involved. I am not saying that blind people are angels or they are always right too but what I am saying is that we should try to understand the logic of everything we do.

My final advice to my blind female friends is to be careful! Don’t put your pad on until you are in an embarrassing situation. Try to be ready even 1 or two days before its right day to get it. Try not to wear bright colors during those days if possible, or if you are not sure about yourself. Mothers should give such advice to her daughter even if she is sighted so please mom, your blind daughter also needs your care and attention.